Friday, April 30, 2004
Happy Birthday Natto! :)
4:48 PM
muahahahaha.
two innocent lives have been claimed by the malice of my presence.
with my sheer hatred, Death has greedily stripped them off this world.
Such a malevolent assassin I indubitably am.
Okay, I think I was under the hypnosis of sasa. =/
Anyway, 2 papers down and innumberable more to go.
My mom died in my chink paper 1.
My granny died in my english paper 1.
Let's guess which paper would help me attain higher marks. :)
4:41 PM
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
I have developed into a teevee addict.
an atrocious one as a matter of fact.
my first paper is merely a fucken day away
and here i am, griping on being such a procrastinator.
gee.
No, I have not set the train on my revision
due to my homework accretion
(that's bull.)
not to forget my langour and uncanny drowsiness.
i used to be able to burn the midnight oil.
now, i have persistent headaches consecutively.
brilliant, i'm not gonna be up to grade for mids
and just bluidy disgruntle my family's expectations.
I am fucken revolted by my indolence and lassitude.
Somebody bail me out of this snag.
11:06 PM
Sunday, April 25, 2004
"it was about the looks, thats why i say its not love.
its love when it was about the acceptance of character and flaws."
the meaning of love is indefinable, noncommital, ambivalent.
but one thing that is a concrete surefire,
I Love Her.
10:32 PM
wellwell, my blog seems to be rather latent.
have been too occupied with my hectic life i guess.
i have no idea where the jolt to blog came from.
the mind is considerably an intricate piece of art.
so convoluted it is, till its driving me bananas.
i've been harbouring clandestine unfeasible thoughts,
one i shoudn't be cleaving on to at all.
and hemming it inside of me is not making me feel any better.
but yet i have to asphyxiate, than emancipate it.
brilliant ain't it? ugh.
this is the derivation of me feeling excruciatingly miserable.
somebody please unshackle me from this anguish.
10:09 PM
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
To Sem. :)
Such a feeling's coming over me
There is wonder in most every thing I see,
Not a cloud in the sky got the sun in my eyes,
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream.
Everything I want the world to be,
Is now coming true especially for me,
And the reason is clear. It's because you are here,
You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen
I'm on the top of the world looking
down on creation and the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found, ever since you've been around
Your love puts me at the top of the world
Something in the wind has learned my name,
and it's telling me that things are not the same,
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze,
there's a pleasing sense of happiness for me.
There is only one wish on my mind,
When this day is through I hope that I will find,
That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me,
All I need will be mine if you are here.
I'm on the top of the world looking
down on creation and the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found, ever since you've been around
Your love puts me at the top of the world
8:29 PM
Friday, April 16, 2004
it hurts so much. too damnit much.
why.. :(
3:51 PM
I am repulsed by my paradoxical emotions.
I feel so feeble, so wretched, so forlorn.
Umpteen times, tears have blurred my vision with dejection
but yet failed to achieve its purpose of brooking down my face.
And ironies are of an abhorrence to me as of right now,
perhaps due to my recurring inconsistency.
I did not prognosticate that this phenomenon would occur.
Never have I envisaged that thought before.
True, although history has repeated itself
but frankly, no circumstances before made me conscious of
the hurt that could actually hammer this agonizing nail inside me.
sigh.
You don't have to twig what I articulated.
Because all that you need to know is..
Away from my home, is where I am.
In pithy obscurity, alone now I stand.
Putrefying my heart, on desolate land.
Humanity is gone, my smile is a sham.
All that is left, are my excruciating tears.
For a reason because, you are not here.
I miss you. too fucken much.
3:10 PM
Thursday, April 15, 2004
too much angst have been accumulated inside of me.
perhaps inadvertently overwhelming.
my apologies for such brazen explicit content
and to those who were/will be victims of this calamity.
I have lost hope in my humanity
12:03 AM
Monday, April 12, 2004
To my Dad.
First and foremost, I hate you.
From young till now, I've hated you.
Yes, and you never seem to cease that abhorrence in me.
You consistently add on to it in fact.
I hate myself because I take after you.
Fuck that.
Just because you have fucken low self-worth,
it doesn't give you any damned right to condemn our flaws.
Not Jarrell's, Not Mom's, Not Amanda's, Not Mine.
condemn your own worthlesness if you actually have the balls.
If Jarrell has gained an achievement,
the very least you could do was to offer him credit he deserves.
He doesnt need your fucken chiding and "advices".
they seem more of ear-stinging codswallop to me.
If Jarrell grows up to have low confidence in himself,
I swear I'm gonna hate you for an eternity.
Fuck you, dad. Fuck you.
And if i have a choice, I wouldn't even call you DAD.
You fucken do not deserve that title.
9:31 PM
Sunday, April 11, 2004
you know what?
Fuck everyone.
Yes, you, you and YOU.
Fuck care if the whole fucken world abhors me
and takes this fucken entry to heart.
You wouldn't be reading this anyway if you ain't nosey or bored.
so fuck off and find somewhere else to poke your nose in.
bluidy nose-poker.
11:28 PM
Thursday, April 08, 2004
Why do I have to concede to your requirements
consistently, time and time again?
Why do I have to meet up with you whenever you want
and not whenever I want?
Why do I have to be countenance to your denigration?
Why do I have to share what I thought solely belongs to me?
or perhaps, Why don't you just find another friend?
10:42 PM
Mom picked up a phonecall frm home while driving back.
verbatim
mom : yes boy?
bro : did you remember to buy bubble tea for me?
mom : yes, but without the bubbles.
bro : huh, what bubbles?
mom : no pearls mean no bubbles la.
verbatim
My mom should seriously stop prattling on about lame stuff.
Bimbo la. =x
10:27 PM
woo. beads of sweat are trickling down my face right now.
brother just
had to compel me to kick ball with him.
unapprised that kicking the rattan ball was excruciating for my toes!!
but i won anyway. HAHA.
sorry jarrell! another time yes? :D
and I'm green with envy of my bro's legs!
quintessence of slim, slender and sexy.
It indubitably should be under a woman's possession.
perhaps it's because he's a long dist. runner?
that laddie had us gobsmacked when he prevailed in first place
in the 400m Individual event for his school.
and i was like some barmy person rooting for him,
while he sprinted with an asinine smile on his face.
hahaha. silly boy. :)
10:11 PM
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
verbatim
yihua : yknow that day, I told vic that "I think belle is kinda funky.
I wouldn't mind going with her and having her as a girlfriend.
and you know what she said?"
me : what?
(gee, thats real candid.)
yi hua : she said "yeh, I would go with her too.
Thats if she likes me too and asks me la."
me : uh huhh. so what are you driving at? she ain't crooked la.
yi hua : not crooked doesn't mean won't be crooked.
me : huh, right.
verbatim
this is so not happening.
I'm aghasted. =/
7:39 PM
Monday, April 05, 2004
often i wish there was a duplicate of me.
too often..
i feel.. bleak? stark? solitary?
perhaps just fucken
empty.
7:55 PM
Sunday, April 04, 2004
petulance has inundated bellee thoroughly.
cantankerous, irascible, tetchy, antagonistic.
outlandishly condemnatory and hypercritical.
indubitably not amicable, affable nor effervescent.
avoid approaching, and steer clear.
11:46 PM
it's fucken farcical to be besotted by someone you don't even know.
in fact, it is absolutely unrealistic
(yes, rachel) and immature.
but i'm totally smitten by the lovability of the both of them.
Focus Jirakul and Charwin Jitsomboon.
I am so watching My Girl again.
I've got free tickets anyway.
Who'd like to join me?! :D
10:58 PM
that sounded rather harsh.
but ain't reality supposed to be so?
i wonder when is she ever gonna learn her lesson?
will she wake up after the callousness of authencity seeped into her?
will she mature to endure every tribulation and ordeal?
i am certainly anticipating for that to come to pass.
what's with me being so fucken derogative?
bellee ought to keep mum.
10:10 PM
what you said has stimulated my thinking quite a bit.
true, how ironic about having many 'best's when there's only best.
am i making sense? not that i care much.
you said you were selfish, you wanted me all to yourself.
what about me?
i have to share you with 3 others?
you know what, fuck that.
9:56 PM
I'm kinda too bluidy lackadaisical to blog.
Had a wonderful time with my cous, her gf n sis today.
went to get tix for Saturday Night Fever,
snacked at an italian restaurant
(the mineral water costs a total of $15),
watched My Girl at Tiong Bahru
(continued snacking),
went down to Mox
(Gay Bar) to chill a little.
My Girl is such a brilliant show.
It is a mixture of both comedy and sentimental touches to it.
Made me tear a couple of times.
(maybe i was overly-sentimental)
The girl honestly reminds me of Josephine.
so damn fucken much that I felt so sinful.. =/
and the boy is damnit cute to the max.
I am gonna have a purchase of that vcd.
NO DOUBT.
okay im extremely exhausted.
I have a humongous pile of work waiting for me.
I have church, followed by birthday lunch to attend tmr.
I want and need to talk to cheryl.
I miss rachel, yanyu, carmen, adam, and
her.
I might not be blogging so often anymore
nor head out unless necessary either.
hallelujah! belle's going into seclusion.
tcare folks! belle's relinquishing from your reality.
12:09 AM
Thursday, April 01, 2004
quit condemning every single irreproachable soul in the house
whenever you're feeling damnit wretched and frazzled.
i see it as an indubitable need to shut that fucken gap of yours,
especially when you start persecuting every single one of us
and slating all of our misdemeanours as if you have none.
i am absolutely repulsed by your fucken ego.
if I had no blood relations of you being my dad,
I would unquestionably have thrown the damned plate
and smash it into your appalling grosteque face.
I do not care if you landed up being hospitalized.
because that's what you deserve for chronically censuring everyone.
8:33 PM
hmmmmm.
i was just notified that Paul won't be coming afterall.
that babblejabber goobledygook.
His mom called him at the eleventh hour and
requested him to fly back to america for a justification i hope.
Americans are a nit-picky populance!!
okay, that was a prejudiced opinion.
Rachel! Now i can recommence my liberty of walking around
my house in my meagre bra and panties! Hahahahaha! :D
and you know that was a gag, right?
5:47 PM
this was definitely unforeseen!
yayhoo!
okay, its not sucha big hullabaloo la.
i merely won a pair of movie tickets.
hah. through some sms contest during valentines.
which was, in all honesty, purely out of fun.
But it's the first time i actually won sucha thing.
from what my memory tells me la. heh.
cool stuff eh?? hahaha.
who wants to watch a movie with me?! grins.
Here's the winning entry. :D
Some say paradise is where heaven and earth meets.
Some say paradise is where the sky touches the sea.
But to me, paradise is where there's you
and there's me.
5:09 PM
Happy April's Fools y'all!
Had a tremendously enjoyable time in school today.
My class pulled managed to pull off 2 outta 3 wind-ups.
My accounts teacher first got duped about his zipper? button?
hahaha. blood seriously shot up straight to his face upon hearing that.
The next stunt they pulled off was on my form tcher.
Let's just say my class is crammed with artistes.
The adorably rotund indonesian girl had ersatz to faint
when she went to the washroom to change after
4 absolutely arduous rounds of running. (which we ran)
and predictably, my teacher left the class instinctively.
but. that darling teacher ambled to the washroom at her own pace
and was too unnerved and panicky to enter and attend to my classmate.
All she did was to beckon and call out for medicated oil??
Cause she confessed that she was too afraid.
Oh my fucken goodness la.
but after much persuasion, she was finally dragged in.
and as you would expect, "Happy April's Fools!"
My entire class was uproarious and made such a brouhaha
until my principal had to make a personal trip up 4 levels.
woopsie doopsie. :b
The 3rd wind-up was supposed to be phenomenal.
However, it didn't come off at all.
The plan was..
4/3 and 4/2 should switch classes during Chinese Lessons.
so 4/2 pupils would occupy the 4/3 classroom and vice versa
and go ahead with lessons as per normal.
Anticipated Results : Teachers would think it was the wrong class
that they have entered and step out of class, only to realise it's a sham.
well of course, that didn't happen.
Instead, the teachers walked in and immediately command
us to swop back our original classes.
hoho, what a downner.
Wonder how did April Fools in Stmargs went.
update me folks! :)
4:28 PM
